Defying the Urge to Quit...

So I've been a little quiet the last month or so. I've taken some much needed time to think and PAUSE! My pause was partly inspired by a great book written by a dear friend of mine that I mentioned during my last message, "The Power of Peace in a Pause!" This book has helped me accept my pause, however, the initial pause itself was not planned nor welcomed in the beginning...

You see 4th quarter of 2014 has been HELL for me! A number of things have happened in my life the last few months that most people know nothing about (wait for the book LOL). Yes me, the therapist, radio personality, wife, mother of 4 and inspirational quote quoting businesswoman has been through "life" just like you this year!

When I became a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. I prided myself in mastering the "Duck Walk." Over the years I've nailed the art of paddling ferociously underwater all the while maintaining a smooth, calm, unruffled demeanor above water... You would never know that I was a duck that didn't't know how to swim and that truthfully I was drowning! At some point flight or fight kicks in when faced with life or death situations... As a duck that can't swim, you either figure it out and swim or you sink and drown.

Something happened one Saturday as I drove from place to place, working, toiling... I realized I was tired... I was sinking and sinking fast... So far underwater that I almost called it quits! Literally, figuratively and whatever other term or phrase you want to use. I was DONE!

The last few weeks our family has had to make some tough choices, necessary choices but tough nevertheless... During this time I took some time away from work, social media, radio, etc. to PAUSE, Question and Seek Assistance. I've realized though that I have to be very cautious in my questioning and careful of who I seek assistance from. I spent a lot of time this year trying to make a lot of other people happy. You see I've spent much of my life with an addiction that I just recently discovered during the initial phase of my pause... An addiction to pleasing other people. Yes it's true, it exists, look it up :). For years I've done what I thought was best, what I thought was "right," taken the paths that would create less friction and minimum uproar to keep everyone else happy. I couldn't't take the thought or handle the feeling of people being disappointed with me... Now at this point in my life I'm sick of it... I tell my clients all the time you'll change your behavior once you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Trust I'm sick and tired...

So why am I sharing all of this? Well I want you to know, I need you to know that although I wanted to, I did NOT quit and you can't quit either! There is someone out there that needs what you have to offer. Your life matters. The work you do matters! People may not understand you, they may not know why you do what you do or why you make the decisions or choices that you make...They may get upset, disappointed or turn things into a mess because they are so focused on themselves that they forget the big picture... They might dismiss you, write you off, laugh or even say "I told you so..." Heck your own thoughts of doubt, lack of self esteem and self defeating behaviors maybe eating away at your confidence, disabling you from moving forward towards your goals... Whatever it is that's going on keep paddling! Encourage yourself if no one else does! At the end of the day it doesn't't matter what everyone else thinks or says. When God says "go," go...When he says "yes" no body, no body can say no!

I pray that you too take the time to Pause as you usher in 2015. I'm so thankful for God's restorative grace and mercy! When I don't deserve a thing he continues to show up and show out! I'm gearing up to "Restructure...Revise...Rebirth...Relive..." in 2015 are you?

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